To sell or not to sell...

That is the gut-wrenching question.

For a long time we have been concerned about the quality of public education for our children here. Pair that with a giant mortgage and ridiculous taxes, and it makes sense to sell our house before we go. Which is fine by me. My happiness is not laid in that foundation; it's the relationships and nature that surround us here that enrich my life. As three years pass our attachment to this particular house will fade.

I just don't know how to explain that to the kids.

They've all been excited to go back to Doha. They miss their friends there, they miss the school (ASD). It was a great experience. But as soon as they realized that there is a cost - there is a permanence in three years that was easy to overlook for four months - the reaction changed. A is too young (4, now) to understand so I can kind of gloss that over. J (now 9) is more aware; he gets that three years will be a long, long time and things will change. He's sad about that but he's still basically on board. Which maybe I shouldn't trust so much, given that he second-guesses pretty much everything else that comes out of my mouth. But that's a different entry.

C (still 6) is another story. When he first heard us talk about renting the house he immediately understood that we won't be coming back to his old bedroom twice a year. Dead stop. Total deal breaker. He's less visceral now but just yesterday he told me "You know, one year is the right amount of time to go. It's enough to really have friends but now too long to be away." But that's not an option.

How do I relate to three young children that we're selling their home because the schools just aren't good enough? So far I've come up with this: We're not sure where we'll live when we come back to Pittsburgh but we will find a nice home in a nice neighborhood with good schools and no matter what, they can still see their dear friends.

Not bad, but I know I'll fall apart when they freak out.

Reprise, extended dance remix

Yep - you guessed it. We're heading back.

Daddy-O got an invitation to leapfrog his career in a three-year contract in Doha. So that's just what we're going to do. It was an easy decision, really - this is an opportunity that doesn't come around but once a decade (or two). And there are opportunities for me too - I've been chomping at the bit for over a year to re-launch my career, and as the US economy tanks it makes some sense to go where there are tons of interesting projects. The kids were happy during our first visit, their school is fantastic, way beyond anything we could afford here.

So it's a good decision. Except that getting there is going to suck. Once we decided to go to Qatar, the easy choice was over and everything that has followed has been grueling hard.

We've been happy is the thing. We have a comfortable life, surrounded by wonderful friends and close (enough) to family. We lack for nothing, in contrast we are incredibly fortunate. Is it ungrateful to pursue more? I hope not, because I try hard to be conscious and appreciate the life I have. Have I mentioned before that I hate to say goodbye? Well, we've got a lot of that going on.

It's going to be a long haul.

Thanksgiving Surprise

I know, it's practically Christmas. I'm way behind in posting but I didn't want to omit our Thanksgiving surprise.

The weekend before Thanksgiving we got a call from my brother-in-law, Josh and his wife Linda. It turns out that soon after we told them of our plans to spend the fall term in Qatar, they bought tickets to come visit us. This is months before we had our own tickets, mind you. They figured that, although they have traveled all over the world, they've never been to the Middle East. What better time to go? And to add to the excitement they decided to make it a surprise visit.

They flew in to Dubai for a couple days' sightseeing and then hopped over to Doha in time for Thanksgiving. They rounded out the tour with a second hop over to Bahrain before flying home. So Josh and Linda, in just over a week, actually saw more of the Middle East than we have in four months. I mean, who moves to the Middle East and doesn't ski Dubai? But that's OK - they're seasoned travelers. And skiing wasn't really an option anyhow.

The other big news is that Linda is expecting, which is absolutely wonderful. You see, Josh and Linda are a great couple. They work hard, they know how to play and they have a great sense of adventure. That zest for life is a trait I think we should all share with our children (and, heck, everyone we meet).

Of course, for the first couple of years it's a struggle to hold on to that enthusiasm, as Linda is certainly learning. She was wretchedly morning sick throughout the trip but she was a trooper and I hope she had a nice time despite the nausea. Poor Linda - even after months of acclimating I think the food in Qatar has an off-flavor; it must be ten times worse if you're in the first trimester.

We didn't spoil the big surprise for the kids. I left a house key with the guards at the compound gate when I picked them up from school, and they were there when we returned. C came in first, and Josh walked around the corner wearing a thobe (white robe), keffiyeh (head scarf), and agal (black cord circle to hold the keffiyeh in place). And don't forget the aviator glasses. Stopped that kid in his tracks; this is not what he was expecting. Fortunately A was too shocked to cry immediately and figured out it was OK when her brothers screamed and laughed and tackled this strange Arab man. Josh looked good but it takes a certain panache to wear the keffiyeh well. Kind of like the guys wearing sarongs in Sri Lanka. You gotta believe it to wear it.

Anyhow, Thanksgiving morning came and we decided to go out for a quick jaunt to the beach before dinner. We packed a lunch and went to a spot north of Doha that has some interesting rock formations along the coastline. Well, it was a decent plan and I'm glad we got out of the house. But the beach was a bust. The second we opened the car, a cloud of flies descended upon us and our food. You literally couldn't stop moving because the flies were everywhere. At least they didn't bite, but yuck. The kids were cranky, Linda was sick, we couldn't win for losing. So we stayed only about an hour before we packed up to go. B and Josh got in the car, opened all the windows, and tore around in the packed sand waving and smacking to get rid of the flies.

Mercifully, Thanksgiving dinner was very nice. We were invited to a friend's house who arrived in Doha at the same time we did. Polly is a marvelous cook, who has unraveled the mysteries of baking in Qatar in a way I can only dream of emulating. Mind you, Thanksgiving dinner three months after you arrive in a foreign country is a daunting task. I decided early on that it was way beyond my ability and I don't know what we would have done if Polly and George hadn't invited us. She brined the turkey and it was moist and delicious. There were several families, and we ate outside at picnic tables in their community garden. Short sleeves and bare feet. Not to brag.

And before we knew it, the visit was over. I wish we had been able to see a camel race, or somehow show Josh and Linda some fancier sights. We did get a babysitter one night and go out to dinner at a restaurant in Souq Waqif. But it was wonderful of them to visit, and I appreciate it.

Home Sweet Home

It's been a while since I did or said anything interesting and my imagination hasn't been clicking the way I might like. The sense of humor is lacking, too. Good day to decide to post, B. The idea is that maybe blogging will help me regain perspective.

This is not what my house looks like. This is what my house would look like if it were clean.

Here's the sitting area in the living room, in the front of the house next to the entryway. I like the floor pillows. The orange you can see through the window is the wall to the side garden, which in our case is just a bricked walkway. If we were staying longer I would pull up a couple rows of brick alongside the wall and plant creeping vines like bougainvillea so we would see some green out the windows... one neighbor did that last year and the effect is really nice.


Here you're looking from the couches at the entertainment console and its mass of wires. We've more recently spruced up that area with family photos on the shelves.


Here's the dining room - an open plan from the front of the house to the back. You can't see the door to the back garden, just past the right edge of the picture.


The kitchen is the only small thing in the house, complete with metal cabinets and an exhaust fan that draws steam from the stovetop and vents directly out the top side; I have no idea what use that might be. You have to light the oven with a match, which adds a nice element of danger to cooking. The kitchen is only connected to the house by a door off the hallway that leads to the laundry and maid's room. It's really hard to hear anything that's happening in the rest of the house when you're in there. I've been spoiled by my Pittsburgh kitchen; I really miss being able to talk to people while I get the food ready.


Here's the master bedroom.


The boys share this room now; A is in her own space using the maid's bed which we carried upstairs. For the past week the boys have had a camping tent pitched between their beds (a birthday gift for C) which really adds to the effect of the room as you might imagine.


And this is what a bathroom looks like. No shower curtains or rods. Never quite got around to fixing that in the kids' bath...


Hopefully my mood funk will pass today. I'm doing all the things that usually work for me: getting exercise, planning family outings, cooking meals. Yesterday really stunk and if my job is to keep the family happy, balanced and functioning we can't have much more of that...

Thin Blood

It's 79 degrees and I'm pulling out the fleece.

I'm actually glad they've switched off the chiller in the pool and switched on the heat. I can exercise outside during the day so long as I either ride bikes or stay in the shade. We're going to have to start using sunscreen, which we haven't had to do so far because the sun was so painfully strong even the kids hid from it. The cold water tap actually runs somewhat cool; I don't have to put ice in the bathtub to prevent the kids from being scalded. We sleep without the A/C blowing at us. It's the beginning of the growing season, so I planted some annuals in the back garden. Nothing fancy - just vinca, petunias, and dianthus. But things are getting greener (where there are irrigation tubes).

This is very nice.

Now if I could only get a good steak...

C's Birthday Pool Party (and ruminations)

To celebrate C's birthday (the big six!) he wanted a pool party because when will he ever again be able to have a pool party in November?

Normally the birthday parties in our family involve a theme, a fancy cake, decorations, and a bunch of special party games. Well, this year there was a lot going on so we took a lighter approach of more self-directed fun. We invited friends to the community center in the compound and played with folding and decorating paper,

bopped balloons around, played a couple of games, had cake,

(the birthday boy)
(Tobias, C, Dane, A, Lucas)

(Tom, Alex and his mom)

opened presents,


and then went swimming. Many thanks to Gigi for providing pictures...




I was extra glad it worked out (and nervous) because for his birthday dinner we planned a sure-thing: KFC at the skate park. Either there was a special event or it's just going to be mobbed for the rest of the winter, but there were at least 10 times as many people as we have ever seen at the family park. Poor C; it just wasn't much fun and they weren't able to practice on the skateboards at all.

But the party was a laid-back good time; the boys were just really excited to be together and they didn't need a lot of bells and whistles to have fun. C is just so happy to have school friends. I remember being amazed at how J matured when he went off to kindergarten - he really felt good about himself, he enjoyed being around kids his age, he learned so much about friendship. C is there now and it's just a joy to hear him talk about how he has so many friends, and to watch him make artistic creations out of everything he can get his hands, scissors, and some glue on.

I think C was the perfect age to come here. J and A felt really uprooted - they were pretty established and happy with their daily routines. Of course, being five years older J dealt with the stress better than his sister did but this hasn't been as easy for him as I thought it would. For C it was going to be a time of upheaval anyhow, going off to school for the first time, so he didn't have any rigid expectations of what his life should be like. It will be harder for him to leave Doha. J and A both really miss their friends in Pittsburgh and talk about them often; their home base definitely without a doubt did not move.

That night we also said goodbye to Gigi and Grandpa Dave. It was wonderful to see them and I remain thoroughly impressed that they made the trip. Now, I don't know how spectacular Doha seemed to them in the wake of a whirlwind tour of London, but they certainly seemed amused and happy to be part of all the Halloween and birthday festivities. I guess those events were the main attraction here more so than sightseeing. It was a long way to come and I'm sure they're exhausted but we really enjoyed seeing them and we appreciate that effort.

Beach Day

We wanted to do something fun outside Doha with Gigi and Grandpa Dave, so took our honkin' big SUV south of the city to a beachside resort called Sealine.

(Aside - did I mention that we got a honkin' big SUV? Now that the weather is getting so nice, we wanted to do some exploring in the desert and that means 4WD. It's handy, too, while the grands are in town so we can move the whole group in one vehicle. And there's something kind of surreal about trucking around a Middle Eastern city in a big-a** TrailBlazer with Johnny Cash playing on the stereo. Add that to the list of "never thought I'd...")

Back to the beach. Sealine is about an hour's drive Doha, going south through the desert. Photos don't serve a purpose in most of Qatar's desert areas because there's absolutely nothing to look at. It's tabletop flat and the ground isn't really sandy but rocky, hard-packed dust and widely scattered scrub. Occasionally you see a group of camels but they stay pretty far away from the road. Most of the coastline is the same thing: packed dust turned to mud flats by the tide. So you have to know where to look for a decent beach.

After driving through that for an hour, going past oil refineries and a massive power plant, you get to the sand dunes and a nice, long sandy beach. Sealine is a resort on the beach, and for 50 QR per person you can go use their facilities and enjoy the beach and pool. We were not the only ones to have this idea. The pool was crazy.


I need to get my rant about Sealine out of the way so I can move on... the pool water was cloudy, the facilities were barely a step up from what you would expect at a public beach, and there were hardly any umbrellas or chairs on the beach. But what made me crazy was the trash - I picked up plastic bags, bottles, paper cups, even broken glass. What people do makes me sick.

OK, now I'm going to move on and show what a day at the beach looks like in Qatar: a lot of it is like any beach. We had a strong offshore breeze, so no body surfing today. We get bigger waves in Northern Michigan.


Mother and son bonding time.


But I haven't ever seen camel rides offered along the beach at Mullett Lake. Key tip: sit behind the hump. I'm not sure why they don't just slide right off the hind end, but I guess that's what the saddle is for.


Nor do you see groups of women in abayas on the beach at Walloon Lake.


Maybe it's that the heat has broken, maybe I'm acclimating to the culture, maybe I'm being brainwashed. But the abayas don't look particularly restrictive to me anymore. These women don't look oppressed to me. Their abayas are detailed and ornate with rhinestones and embroidery. They're wearing jeans or whatever they want underneath, walking with sandals or barefoot along the beach, drinking a soda, talking and laughing. As far as I can tell, in Qatar the black robe (abaya) and head scarf (shella) are pretty much obligatory for Muslim women, but further covering is up to the individual. And it's not so discriminatory when you realize that the men wear full robes and head coverings as well. I don't really get why women have to wear black, but what woman doesn't have a little black dress in her wardrobe?

Sorry for all the tangents... Here you can see the dunes in the distance. The tiny bumps on top of the dunes are SUVs - dune bashing is a big sport here. There are ATV rental places lining the road that leads to the dunes...


All in all, it was a good day, and it was helpful to be able to use Sealine's facilities. We're hoping to get out of Doha a lot more often now that we have an appropriate vehicle for the desert. I have a long list of places I want to see...